Challenging Men Without Playing Games
Why Men Love a Challenge
Many women complain that men are just lazy anymore. They say the men want women to chase them. They say if they don’t make the moves, there would be no relationship at times. This of course is not being a challenge to men. They key word here though is men. Real men, emotionally healthy, ready for a relationship men do like a challenge. If you are dealing with a lazy man, may I suggest he is more of a boy?
Men like a challenge. They love competition. Most love sports and get all excited about the competition part of sports. They bet and they love to win. It’s their nature. If a woman is a challenge to a man, he sees her as valuable. The more effort he puts into winning your heart, the more special he feels. It also adds some serious cement to a relationship if the man sees the value of his woman.
Many women think when I say to be a challenge, I mean playing games sort of like playing hard to get. You can be a challenge without denying your feelings for a man. You can be a challenge and not deceive him by things like pretending you are doing something when you are not to appear less available. You can just be a challenge. Think of challenge as a noun, not a verb.
What is Feminine Grace
Feminine Grace is when a woman is truly happy being a woman. She is comfortable with her femininity without being overtly sexual. Feminine Grace is being a woman and loving it in every minute.
For example, a corporate woman can attempt to compete with men and try to be equal, which is impossible. An apple and an orange, while still fruit, will never be the same. Or she can be fully a woman, confident in her own expertise and knowledge, interacting with others as a woman, not an approximation of a man.
That kind of woman is respected by her peers, male and female, not resented or looked down on. She dresses as a woman, not as a man, but, understanding and respecting men, she’s careful not to be sexual in the way she dresses. Men say they cannot work with a woman who dresses sexy and not think about sex. It’s a matter of decorum, taste, style, and self-respect, mixed with a desire to let her beauty show through.
A woman with this feminine grace naturally attracts and challenges men.
How To Be a Challenge to Men
No Manipulation Required
Some have the perception that to be a challenge it requires that a woman hold back on her feelings. This is not the case. It’s not how a femininely graceful woman would do. A woman with feminine grace will always be true to herself and be able to challenge him, yet show her feelings at the same time. Ah, a fine art.
You don’t have to hold back on your feelings as a dear friend of mine has put it below. Don’t hold back on your feelings, feel them,
BUT, do hold back a little bit on the information. Keep some cards hidden. Don’t tell them EVERYTHING all at once. Portion it out to last more than the first few months.
I think too much information all at one time sometimes gets lost. If you control the speed of ‘getting to know you…really know you” it increases the mystery, makes them wonder what else there is to know.
I’m not talking about holding back on the deep dark secrets. Or hiding anything that should be put on the table. But rather saving little interesting bits, the smile stories, the wonderful things that make your life complete and sharing these a few at a time.
It’s the difference between having a small treat at grandpa’s every Wednesday, and waking up Christmas morning with a stocking full of all your favorites. Which ones do you really remember now? Personally, I remember the butterscotches and licorice at my grandfathers vividly and not much about the Christmas morning candy.
In other words, a challenge is by not giving him everything too fast, but giving him little bits that inspire him to want to know more. A man inspired will rise to the challenge.
Less Can Be More
Sometimes being a challenge isn’t about what you do, but what you don’t do. Being a challenge is about being yourself and true to yourself. Where women stop being a challenge is when they start sacrificing their wants and needs above his. To be a challenge is simple really. You just don’t do this.It’s not about what you do that makes you a challenge, but more about what you won’t do that makes you a challenge. The more a man watches you stand your ground, the more he respects you, the more he values you and he sees you as a challenge, period. YOU are the challenge. Challenge becomes a noun instead of a verb.
Here are a few things that you may not do for example. You won’t be a late night booty call, you are asleep and don’t answer the phone more than likely. You won’t get out of bed to drive him to the Airport at 4 am Monday morning for a man you have only dated for a few months and have no commitment with. You won’t do his laundry or cook a 5 course meal. The list goes on and on, but it involves on key thing. You don’t sacrifice too much to please him. You won’t step into discomfort for a man.
Challenging a man isn’t about playing games, it’s more about just be who you are and not jump through hoops to do what you think he wants you to do. I remember when I first started dating my now partner. He was on who was go go all the time. Me not so much. I enjoy my time alone. It often baffled his mind when I would turn him down just to sit at home, take a bubble bath and chill in my pajamas. So much so that one night he actually just showed up on my doorstep. On my!
I invited him in for a few minutes and we chatted. I then told him though it was sweet of him to stop by I really did mean it when I said I just wanted to chill, alone. Believe it or not, this really intrigued him and he would always put his best foot forward. He also never stopped by again unannounced. Today though, we live together and are very happy.
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